Tree Warriors

        The great and powerful tree stood proud and tall.   The rebels of men shuddered under its might.   For centuries, man has struggled in vain against the growing power of trees, but now, man has gathered enough strength, enough courage, to rid themselves of the trees once and for all!

        And so the tree deployed its minions, the grassblades, against the evercoming rebels.   The men roared and screamed at the sight of the seemingly infinite number of enemies before them.   At last, they realized to their horror; they were painfully outnumbered.

        But fear not! For the rebels had been well prepared and a secret weapon was at their disposal.   One of the lowly rebels scurried quickly and returned with the long awaited... lawnmower.   And with this lawnmower, the rebels advanced, plowing through the endless fields of grass, charging through flying grassroots and chunks of dirt and mud.

        At last they made it.   The tree stood sternly before them.   The rebel leaders sent out the first wave against the tree.   The pawns pulled out their shovels and charged forward, shouting battle cries as they went.   Yet, as they hacked in vain, their dull, blunt shovels rebounding against the tree trunk and into their faces, their cries soon became that of anguish and pain.

        The men squealed in agony and retreated with haste.   The rebel leaders realized that they have deeply underestimated their opponent, their sworn enemy.   However, they had but yet another trick up their sleeve, and with that, they deployed their most skilled anti-tree mercenary: the axeman.

         The axeman headed forward;  the defeated rebel pawns cheered him on.   With a great heave and an ugly "Ho", the axeman swung his axe forward.   The first hit struck.   Lightning flashed in the sky.   The pawns gasped.   The leaders nodded approvingly.

        Smiling with pride, the axeman pulled his weapon from the trunk and prepared to swing again.   With the most ill misfortune, the axe collided with a mass of the tree's hanging vines.   The axeman gasped in horror as he struggled hopelessly to pull back the axe.   The axe slipped from his hands and propelled into the treetops; the tree had outsmarted the axeman.

        The axeman stood hopeful, cursing and threatening the tree with his fists.   The axe, however, slowly came downward, having reached the end of its swing.   Riding the vines, it swung back down to Earth, and beheaded the axeman on the spot.   The pawns screamed.   The leaders cried.

        As the rebels watched, the axeman rotted away before their eyes.    Years flew by.   Decades passed.   The flesh decayed, its remains sucked up by the trees roots.   The tree stood taller and stronger than ever before.   Nothing remained of the axeman but dirt and bones.

        A terrified pawn broke the silence.   "OH MY GOD! It's a man-eating vampire tree!"

        Rain poured from the sky.   Thundered roared in the distance.   The rebels broke into chaos.   Their hopes had been vanquished; their hero eaten by the tree.

        At last, the leaders regained control.   They knew what must be done.   Their last resort to end the tree once and for all: Fire.   The pawns gasped and cheered, choking as they did.   The leaders smiled with pride.   The sky went dark and lightning crackled in the sky.

        The rebels charged one last time, torches in the air and blazing wildly.   The pawns moved first, struggling through the vines and to the tree's trunk.   The leaders followed closely behind.   The vines caught afire.   The flames spread quickly, but never reached the tree itself, for it had rained just not so long ago and the humidity and water protected it.

        The rebels surged forward, brushing against the burning vines.   The pawns shrieked, their clothes caught in flames.   The leaders gave a sigh.   The rebels scattered into a  frenzy.   They dropped their torches and  burned  their feet.   They smashed into each other, lighting friends and allies ablaze.

        Alas, not a single rebel remained standing.   Years passed.   Decades flew.   The tree, one-by-one, absorbed the remains of every rebel, eating the men alive.

        To this day, no man dared stand against the tree.   The tree's power grew, its minions, the grass, spreading across the entire face of the Earth.